yuletide in london/ buddha and other icons

i am spending yuletide in london with dhammadinna and tarakanta -- and having a great time. foodwise there are themes - so first night was italian, xmas eve was mexican (muy bueno), the full monty xmas dinner yesterday and tonight it's indian. everything homemade what's more. i can't quite believe how much effort they are putting into it all.













i appreciate being taken such good care of. fortunately i just do the washing up,though in fact that is a bit of an on-going task. mainly i am enjoying their company and chilling out. oh, and the visitors. i haven't celebrated xmas at all much in my life. though i did use to enjoy singing in the choir at midnight mass.

that is one of the things i miss about being a catholic. sometimes devotion in buddhism can seem a bit sterile or dry. not that that is my own experience in a heart sense. i sometimes feel like i am in love when i meditate or when i am on retreat i can feel my heart burst open at the beauty and the wonder of sitting in silence with other people. i can feeel my connectedness with life and that makes my heart sing as it also makes me weep with the pain of loss and the despair of the world.

but sometimes when we sit in puja or even when we chant mantras beautiful though they are, i long for the beauty of choral masses, of plainsong, of worship through the beauty of the human voice. i confess, i like the smells and bells.

so this morning as i meditated under the xmas tree -- perhaps the cultural equivalent of the bodhi tree -- i reflected on devotion, on heart connections and i feel great gratitude for the heart connections i have with so many people, like dhammadinna and tarakanta. i felt great devotion to avalokitesvara and i felt pleased that i have the chance in this life to commit myself to help awaken the bodhi heart, however imperfectly i do that. i also thought how xmas itself has never had much meaning for me but that the time of year does affect me. we passed the solstice some days ago. the shortest day and the longest night have passed for this year and we are heading towards the end of 2006 and beginning of 2007. i will be on retreat for hogmanay and new year at dhanakosa which i am looking forward to. so to anyone who has read this far - happy yuletide and may the darkness of the winter allow new life to germinate.

visitor to taraloka

on sat carmen, my friend from valencia spain. came over to spend a week with me. she came this time last year as well. it is lovely to see her though sat was a pretty naff day. i set off to meet her at birmingham airport and decided to go to crewe and leave the car there. god it's expensive trying to be environmentally ethical. the train cost a fortune, there were delays and the standard coaches were stuffed full while the 4 (yes i said 4) first class carriages were almost empty.
anyway, there i was just getting to birmingham when carmen texted me to say that she had got delayed in paris. her flight from valencia was delayed and she missed the connection from paris. long story short -- i ended up spending most of the day in birmingham, getting spaced out and spending money (cheap dvds in hmv) and she arrived at 4.30p.m. instead of 10.30 a.m. and, to cap it all her luggage was missing.

anyway, it is great to have her here. i miss her now that i am not living in spain.

retreat from afar

yesterday i started a 3 month "chenresig retreat from afar". this is something organised by sravasti abbey, the monastic retreat centre in washington state run by venerable thubten chodron. i subscribe to the newsletter from the abbey and last year i saw that they had done a retreat on vajrasattva. it ran for three months and some people did it as a residential retreat in the abbey. others participated from afar, including inmates from prisons round the states. i thought this was SUCH a great idea. this year i realised they are doing the same thing but dedicated to chenresig - avalokitesvara. that is my main sadhana and so i thought that i would check it out. basically i am asked to commit myself to doing the sadhana at least once a day from the 13th dec till the 13th march. every week ven chodron will give a talk which will be downloadable. this time there are 41 participants -- not sure how many will be resident and how many from afar but i know it includes 11 prison inmates. i think it's a great idea and am looking forward to participating. even though we are asked to do the practice once a day i hope to do it at least twice.

well, i am fed up trying to upload an image to go with this post. i have sent a photo of myself to be on the shrine at sravasti abbey and planned to post it with this entry but it refuses to upload the image. VERY frustrating so am giving up on that. it is one of the reasons i haven't posted recemtly. i tried to upload some images of the sky here at taraloka with a post but just couldn't do it. i don't know if it is our broadband or some problem with blogger but anyway, just imagine a photo of me with this.

after the storm

another sleepless night but this time the turbulence was external. there was a fantastic storm in the night last night. real howling winds and rain lashing against my window kept me awake. i quite enjoyed it! this morning there were branches lying across the lawn. the sun is shining now and it's quite gorgeous here, wild and windswept and sparkling.