hi all
i am back at taraloka for a few days. read the new harry potter on the flights back. well the first 500 pages between mexico city and newark then most of the rest on the flight from newark to manchester, uk. quite enjoyed it though the very last chapter was a bit naff i thought (don't worry no plot spoilers that's it for comments).
lots i could write about mexico. as usual i am not managing very well at keeping the blog up to date. i led a couple of workshops in the buddhist centre in mexico city. one on loss and bereavement (hacia una tanatologia budista) with over a hundred participants and one on engaged buddhism (el budismo comprometido) with a mere (!) 38 attending. they both went really well. also gave a talk at the local dharma day celebrations. since i am mentioning numbers, there were almost 200 people at the dharma day celebrations. i gave a fairly simple talk about the turning of the dharmachakra - including the idea that engaged buddhism is considered by some as the 4th turning.
Wednesday, 25 July 2007
Friday, 13 July 2007
mexico
click the link above (the title) to connect to a new page in my web site with some photos of my trip to mexico
Sunday, 1 July 2007
feeling sad
hi, last night i led a full moon puja at the centre here in mexico city. there were over a hundred people there and lots of them young which is pretty amazing considering it was a saturday night. there was a great atmosphere and although i stumbled a bit over one or two lines - the version here is different from the version we use in spain - there was a very strong feeling of devotion. i had said a bit about the transference of merits being thousand fold at the full moon and the transference of our merits being the desire to practice to alleviate the suffering of all beings. it expresses our intention and i talked of the importance of taht intention. i think people really responded and i really felt like maybe that kind of force can have an effect in the world.
i came out of the puja in an altered state of consciousness which happens sometimes when i lead a puja. couldn't even quite respond at first to people greeting me and expressing their appreciation. then i switched on my cell phone and had a message from sophia in glasgow. i wasn't completely sure what she was referring to but it seemed there had been a terrorist attack of some kind at glasgow airport. when i got back here to saddhajoti's i logged on to the bbc and read about the 3 attempts in the uk and that the uk is on critical alert - the highest of the five states of alert. meaning that there is a belief that attacks are imminent. i felt really sad and upset. all sorts of thoughts and concerns going through my mind. i meditated for a while. tonglen seemed the only response. i think i was so affected because i was feeling very sensitive anyway then i had just had this very strong experience in the puja and finally the fact that it was glasgow. how territorial, like it suddenly hits home when it happens at home. then in the practice of tonglen i realised that rather than use that as a stick to beat myself (how selfish!), i could use it as a gateway to the suffering of others further from home. everyone everywhere affected by war, by racism, by prejudice, by poverty, injustice, inequality. the great rolling wheel of cause and effect. where does this terrorism come from? not to condone violent actions but to try to understand the complexity, the helplessness and the pain and suffering that goes into the mix and births such acts. i just wept and wept.
one of the things i wept over was also the fear of the repercussions this sort of thing has on the muslim community. and sure enough, on todays bbc site there is news of attacks against asians in glasgow. how sad. i am weeping again writing this. and what can i do? what can we do? is it enough to meditate? and yet, without meditation and a calm heart and mind what hope is there? but how can i act in a way that might help in this world? the old dilemma. how many years i have been asking myself that question! it always comes back to my desire to serve the bodhicitta, yes that is clear i have no doubt about that and yet, my doubts about how best to do that are many and complex. how do i honour my desire to be a renunciant bodhisattva warrior, my heart vow to live my life for the benefit of all beings?
and of course i feel sad because i know that i too am not free from violence. i have been reflecting much recently on ego. i feel tired and weary of my ego clinging and the ego clinging i see around me, the cause of so much suffering present and future. i walk a line between tenderness and sadness on the one hand when i reflect on this and on the other hand impatience and even anger. anger at ego? anger at anger? how foolish is that? as we say in the bodhicitta practice -all beings, like myself, seek happiness and its causes. all beings like myself wish to avoid suffering. and yet, again and again all beings, like myself act in ways which cause their own and others suffering. what a pity! with all beings i go for refuge to the three jewels.
so, now i am off to co-lead with moksananda a retreat for all the mitras here in mexico city who have asked for ordination. it is the first time we have done a mixed retreat and we decided that since moksananda and i were both here (the first time in all those years of coming here that that has happened) it would be good to maximise on that and do one retreat together. there will be 30 of us i think. 6 order members and 24 mitras. almost everyone is coming which is great.
i came out of the puja in an altered state of consciousness which happens sometimes when i lead a puja. couldn't even quite respond at first to people greeting me and expressing their appreciation. then i switched on my cell phone and had a message from sophia in glasgow. i wasn't completely sure what she was referring to but it seemed there had been a terrorist attack of some kind at glasgow airport. when i got back here to saddhajoti's i logged on to the bbc and read about the 3 attempts in the uk and that the uk is on critical alert - the highest of the five states of alert. meaning that there is a belief that attacks are imminent. i felt really sad and upset. all sorts of thoughts and concerns going through my mind. i meditated for a while. tonglen seemed the only response. i think i was so affected because i was feeling very sensitive anyway then i had just had this very strong experience in the puja and finally the fact that it was glasgow. how territorial, like it suddenly hits home when it happens at home. then in the practice of tonglen i realised that rather than use that as a stick to beat myself (how selfish!), i could use it as a gateway to the suffering of others further from home. everyone everywhere affected by war, by racism, by prejudice, by poverty, injustice, inequality. the great rolling wheel of cause and effect. where does this terrorism come from? not to condone violent actions but to try to understand the complexity, the helplessness and the pain and suffering that goes into the mix and births such acts. i just wept and wept.
one of the things i wept over was also the fear of the repercussions this sort of thing has on the muslim community. and sure enough, on todays bbc site there is news of attacks against asians in glasgow. how sad. i am weeping again writing this. and what can i do? what can we do? is it enough to meditate? and yet, without meditation and a calm heart and mind what hope is there? but how can i act in a way that might help in this world? the old dilemma. how many years i have been asking myself that question! it always comes back to my desire to serve the bodhicitta, yes that is clear i have no doubt about that and yet, my doubts about how best to do that are many and complex. how do i honour my desire to be a renunciant bodhisattva warrior, my heart vow to live my life for the benefit of all beings?
and of course i feel sad because i know that i too am not free from violence. i have been reflecting much recently on ego. i feel tired and weary of my ego clinging and the ego clinging i see around me, the cause of so much suffering present and future. i walk a line between tenderness and sadness on the one hand when i reflect on this and on the other hand impatience and even anger. anger at ego? anger at anger? how foolish is that? as we say in the bodhicitta practice -all beings, like myself, seek happiness and its causes. all beings like myself wish to avoid suffering. and yet, again and again all beings, like myself act in ways which cause their own and others suffering. what a pity! with all beings i go for refuge to the three jewels.
so, now i am off to co-lead with moksananda a retreat for all the mitras here in mexico city who have asked for ordination. it is the first time we have done a mixed retreat and we decided that since moksananda and i were both here (the first time in all those years of coming here that that has happened) it would be good to maximise on that and do one retreat together. there will be 30 of us i think. 6 order members and 24 mitras. almost everyone is coming which is great.
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